


Heartbeat Like Thunder

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bullying, Crowley's an Asshole, Dean's Bisexual, Homophobia and Other Things, Insecurity, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Pansexual Sammy, So is John, but I already said that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-10 15:56:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6992374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel are vastly different. Dean's a jock; he can get whatever girl he wants whenever he wants and he seems to have a sky-high self esteem. Cas is the school 'emo scum.' He's Crowley's main target despite his efforts to go unnoticed. The two soon discover they have more in common than they initially thought- but this isn't your classic, predictable love story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Cas was new to Lawrence High, which meant he had to deal with the hardest part of being at a new school: Trying to keep himself out of the social heirarchy. He didn't want to be seen as anything or anyone, and he would love it if no one even looked his way. It was especially hard when you just show up one day and everyone's automatically curious. Who's the new kid? Why is he here?

Castiel just wanted to be left alone. Too bad Crowley's targets were nobodies. Usually, they were 'emo scum.' Sometimes, they were just shy and antisocial, buy normal in every other way. 

Cas was the 'emo scum.'

His hair was always messy, and the only clothes he owned were either fandom or band related. He was always tuning the world out, earbuds in and blasting music, usually the same song he'd had on loop the previous night. His raven hair was just long enough to get in his eyes, but he didn't mind. Not unless someone assumed that he was depressed and self destructive- which he actually was- and used that to bully him like everyone had done at his previous schools.

Cas sat in the back of the room, pretending like he was paying attention. People kept looking back at him during the lesson; he wanted to leave, it made him so uncomfortable. Unfortunately, things could get so much worse... This was just the beginning of the shit storm.

***

Dean watched from afar as Crowley made the boy's life a living hell. He didn't do anything about it, though; he had enough problems already. The only person he truly cared about was Sammy, and that was only because they were brothers. If Dean and Sam weren't related, he'd give zero shits about his inner demons. He'd shut out the world a long time ago, which is why he didn't care about Crowley picking on innocent nobodies. Even with his fearful expresion, the blue-eyed boy did't earn sympathy from Dean; it takes more than good looks and problems to make him care. A lot more. 


	2. Chapter 2

Every week, Cas was terrorized by Crowley the assbutt, and every week Dean remained a bystander. He'd leave the boy to calm down all alone as he went off to make out with a girl, get her number, and hopefully spend just one night with her. Just one, that's all; he didn't want her internal struggles to become his, too.

While Castiel struggled to keep his composure, Dean was off being the player he was. While Cas was leaning against a wall, struggling to breathe on a three count, Dean was saying things that made the girl he had that day blush a deep red. Dean would smirk, pulling the girl close and kissing her deeply- not passionately. Dean's kisses and touches aren't tied to emotion in any form or fashion; all he wanted was a good fuck and nothing more. Girls weren't really his thing, but he'd like to keep his social status, and if that meant being closeted forever it was fine by him. 

Cas would get himself under control and prepare for his next class as Dean finally broke the kiss and told the girl he'd pick her up at seven. Both boys made their way to Latin. They made awkward eye contact and then tried to pay attention to the lesson; it was hard to do when your teacher drones on in a monotone voice for an entire period. Dean once glanced over at Cas to find him with his earbuds in, a ghost of a smile on his lips. Whatever he was listening to, it sure did make him happy. It was the first time Dean had seen a real, genuine smile on the boy's face, and for some reason it made Dean feel all warm inside. He brushed it off, denying his feelings. He had a date with a girl tonight. Not a guy; he didn't swing that way. Nope, not at all. And he definitely did NOT like Castiel Novak. The boy was trouble of the worst kind- emotional struggles- and Dean didn't need that. He didn't feel obliged to gently wipe the tears from his tired eyes and tell him it'd be okay. He didn't want to make him feel all the right things. That was someone else's job.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean lays awake, staring at the ceiling. He was exhausted, but he couldn't go to sleep for some reason. After an hour of laying there, he finally stumbled downstairs to find Sam and their dad in the kitchen. Sam had apparently came out to him. Dean had known that he was pansexual for about three months now, and he'd known that it would make things worse for the poor kid when he told John. "Good timing, Sammy," Dean thought tiredly. John was going on and on about how, if anything, Sam was bisexual, which wasn't okay either. When Sammy tried to explain, which involved explaining the entire gender spectrum, John said that people like that had 'identity issues' and 'multiple personalities' and that they 'needed mental help.' He then asked- in a mocking way, of course- how he knew he was pansexual. Sam said that he had a crush on someone who was genderfluid for a year or so. At this, John had downed his glass of whiskey, poured himself another, and left his youngest son to run to his room. As he was retreating, John thought to his drunken self that he oughtta smack some sense into the kid. Dean gave Sam a good half hour to cry before he went in and attempted to console him. "Why didn't you s-stand up for me? I-I thought you s-said you were there for me?" Dean wrapped an arm around his brother and said, "There are some things that can't be helped, y'know?He's stubborn and ignorant and... He's an asshole. You can't talk sense into people like that." Sam nodded and sniffled. "B-But he's our dad! He-He's supposed to accept us, a-and.." He spiraled out of control after that. Sam always got the worst treatment, and he was sick of it. "Hey.. Sam, it's alright. C'mon, take a deep breath with me, okay?" When Sam tried to exhale, it came out as a sob and when he breathed in it was shaky. This continued for a minute or so before he calmed down, at which point Dean pulled him into a hug. He could tell when Sam fell asleep, his body relaxing and his breaths becoming even. Dean layed there with him, holding his brother protectively to him.

Light began to filter though the blinds, and Dean had yet to sleep. He was going to need a lot of coffee. Sam stirred, whimpering quietly and grabbing onto Dean's shirt. "I got you, Sammy, you're okay.." Dean mumbled, holding his brother closer and closing his eyes; he needed to sleep before it was too late. 

Dean managed to do two impossible things that morning. First, he got two hours of sleep. It was deep and gave him more energy than eight hours of light slumber... Or, at least, that's what it felt like. Then he got up before Sam. The middle schooler was still asleep, all curled up with Dean's arms still wrapped around him. He didn't want to leave the bed- it was warm and seemingly more comfortable than his own- but he had to get ready for the day. He gingerly let go of his brother and sat up, yawning and sitting there for a few minutes before standing up and going downstairs. He cleaned up the aftermath of his father's drinking binge and then made breakfast. Of course, it was only for Sam- Dean didn't eat breakfast. He had a million cups of coffee instead. By the time there was a sizable stack of pancakes on the table and Dean was on his fifth cup, Sam was awake. When Dean saw him he was immediately reminded of a five year old Sammy, his hair all messed up and a look of hope in his hazel eyes. "Dean?" He asked tiredly. 

"Hm?" He poured himself another cup of coffee. "You think Dad's gonna accept me? Maybe he just needed time?" 

Dean just looked down at the dark liquid in the cup and took a sip. Fuck creamer, he needed caffeine right now. He screwed his eyes shut as he got used to the strong taste. "If not, I'll raise hell."

 

***

Dean stood in hallway, drinking his seventh cup of pure energy. He saw Crowley approach Cas. It's not his problem. 

Cas backed up against the wall.

It's not worth it...

It's not...

Dean sighed, tossing the to go cup in the trash and walking up to the duo. 

It was most definitely worth it.

He pulled Crowley away and shoved him against the wall. Dean could feel Cas's eyes on him. "What'd he ever do to you? Pick on someone you've actually got a reason to hate, dammit." There was murder in his eyes. "Get outta here before I make you run home, crying to your dad about how the big bad bully beat you into a pulp." 

At lunch, Dean and Cas sat together. 

"So... uh... Thanks for what you did earlier. I mean, it wasn't really necessary, but.."

"No, it was necessary. I've seen that asshole rule for way too fucking long."

Cas hummed in response, downing his bottle of water. They sat in silence for the remainder of lunch.


	4. Chapter 4

Nobody bothered Castiel after Dean intervened. They sat together in Latin, though they didn't talk much, and at lunch they did the same. 

Cas was wearing a P!ATD shirt, a black sweater over it, and jeans that were torn at the knees due to a couple years of use. He sighed, feeling the familiar pang of hunger, but he knew he wasn't going to eat. He didn't feel like it. "Cas, you gotta eat." Dean looked concerned. "I've never seen you eat at school before, and I've got a feeling that you don't eat breakfast, either."

"I'll eat tonight. Dinner." He nodded, "You're eating lunch tomorrow." 

"Yeah, sure, Winchester." Cas took off his sweater. Dean's eyes lit up and he smiled brightly. "You like Panic?" Cas shook his head, his voice saturated with sarcasm. "No, I just wear the shirt. I hate the band." 

Dean chucked. "How about My Chem?" 

Cas nodded enthusiastically. "Fall Out-" Dean couldn't even finish talking before Cas answered. "Yes."

"Muse?" 

The raven haired boy almost jumped up and hugged Dean. "Hell yeah." 

"Bush?" Cas nodded. "The Cab?"

Cas smiled, "I thought you were a jock." Dean chuckled. "That might be true, but on the inside I'm secretly Gerard Way." 

"So, are you the queen of sass?"

"Yes I am."

God, who would have thought that a player like Dean would be so... Real? Fuck, Cas wanted him so bad. 

"I'd love to continue this conversation but if those guys see you with me we'll both be dead so I guess I'll see you later bye Cas." Dean said quickly, running off to his 'friends.'

Cas sat alone, taking sips from his water bottle. He refrained from looking at Dean because he knew that if he did, he'd never be able to look away. His eyes were too green and everything about him was too perfect. There was no way Cas would be able to just be Dean's friend.


	5. Chapter 5

Cas barely survived the rest of the day; those damn teachers droned on and on and on... At least he had his music to keep him from dying of boredom. At one point he'd had all his music on shuffle and only two songs had played before he got to complete silence. He furrowed his eyebrows and it took him a moment to realize that it wasn't his phone being an ass- it was just that he'd accidentally turned the volume all the way down.

As he walked through the halls at the end of the day, Dean passed by and put a piece of folded paper in his sweater pocket. He waited until he got outside and then took it out, reading it. It was Dean's phone number. A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. 

At home, Cas put Dean into his contacts. He was going to wait before he called; he didn't want to seem like he was overexcited. Dean was just a friend to him, and that's all.

He wandered around his house, cleaning. 

Dean checked his phone every few minutes, eagerly awaiting Cas's call. He didn't like Cas as anything more than a friend, he was just bored. He was just bored and wanted to talk to his new friend. His pleasantly different, relatable and very hot friend. 

Hot? Where'd that come from?

Cas dried off the dishes he'd been washing and took his phone from his pocket, staring at the screen for a moment. What if Dean was busy and he called at the wrong time? What if it wasn't even Dean's number? What if- 

He called Dean. It only rang twice before Dean answered. 

"Cas?"

"Hello, Dean. Um... Is this the wrong time?" 

Dean collapsed on his bed, smiling like an idiot. 

"Nope, you're good."

"Great."

There was an awkward silence. 

"So..."

"I don't know what to talk about." Dean admitted.

Cas chuckled, "Me either."

"We're only a minute into this conversation and we're already running out of conversation topics."

"How about.... How about your old school?"

Cas paused, unsure how to reply. "It was hell."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault..."

They went a good three minutes not talking. 

"I've gotta go. See you tomorrow."

Cas replied, "Bye," but Dean had already hung up.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been a little busy, sorry.... It's a little shorter than usual..

Dean wasn't quite sure how to start a conversation. Cas had said hello a couple times, but Dean had only waved. Oh well. Cas didn't really mind, even though he found it quite odd. He told himself that Dean was simply avoiding being friends with him publicly and carried his doubts along with him throughout the day, tuning out their screams with music. Crowley came around and made Cas's day go dark, and he surely left a few bruises, but it's not like he wasn't used to it. All is good, but if Dean would've saw, there would have been a fight in the middle of the courtyard, but he wasn't around. He was probably with his so-called friends or hitting on some girl.

It made him sick just thinking about it.

A buzz in his back pocket made him jump before he realized it was just his phone.

"Wanna skip?" Dean texted.

Cas smiled, quickly responding, "Yes."

***

In the corner of a diner, Dean and Castiel silently ate their burgers. Dean finished first. When he was done, he declared, "That was a damn good burger."

Cas nodded, his heart doing somersaults at the smile and the look in Dean's eyes. He was happy, and that made Cas happy. "I know, right?"

They both went quiet. It was strange, how they could just exist in silence.

About five minutes later, Dean says, "Wanna go to my place?"

"Sure," Cas says with a smile.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, everyone. Had some issues regarding family and gender identity... (I'm NOT a girl, you guys, I'm genderfluid.) 
> 
> Oops. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading!

Dean's house was messy, but a good kind of messy. The kind that's not too much clutter, just enough to seem... Comfortable, almost. When you grow up around neat and overly organized people, it's almost a relief to meet someone that doesn't mind a little disarray. Dean's house was a perfect size for the three people that lived there, a pleasant contrast from the too-spacious house that Cas called home. It was nice.

"So... Wanna go up to my room, or...?" Cas nods and Dean leads him upstairs and into a room at the end of the hall.

It's painted an off white and there are band posters everywhere. The bed's haphazardly made, sheets and blankets a night-sky black. Dean looks around, scanning the room with a disappointed look on his face like he's judging his own messiness. 

"So, um.. What now?"

"Well, for starters, we could try and have a normal conversation. Since all the talking we've been doing is awkward."

Maybe that's 'cause Dean has a massive crush on Cas... And vice versa.

"Okay.. Hi, Cas."

He chuckles. "Hello, Dean."

"How's it going?" 

"Okay, I guess. How about you? How's your day been?"

"Pretty good. It's getting better, though, 'cause you're here."

A light blush spreads across Cas's face. 

Dean quickly covers up his mistake. "Y'know, because you're my friend and stuff.. Wait- Are you blushing?"

Cas, who had sat beside Dean on his bed, brought his knees to his chest.

After several minutes of silence, Dean says, "That went well. For a dorky conversation, I mean."

Cas chuckles. "Yeah, I guess it did." He hesitates, then says, "So... Doctor Who?"

"Yes! Definitely, yes. Who's your favorite Doctor?"

"Ten. David Tennant."

Dean grins. "David Ten-nant."

"Get out."


End file.
